Dad, can you make hummus?

Hell yeah you can. 

Let's talk about why you should make hummus.  First of all, what the hell is hummus: it's a spread/dip made out of chickpeas.  It is ugly, but pretty damn good.  My dad would rather eat a turd than go for some hummus, so there's no changing some guys.  But for those of you with open minds (and nothing to lose), here's a few reasons why hummus is the business.

It's cheap: I made the above hummus, about 20 ounces of it, for about a dollar.   

It's healthy: tons of fiber and protein in it, so you can sit in front of the TV and substitute it for that Frito Lay bean dip I know you wreak havoc on. 

Kids eat it: my kids really like hummus.  My daughter eats it with her fingers.  Get a box of Ritz crackers (2.50$), they last forever.  Give them some Ritz and hummus.  It's not a perfect snack, but good enough and again, it's better than that bean dip you've been eating, dad.  Plus it makes you fart if you eat too much, so you and the kids can rip 'em all night long.

The ladies love hummus: as a rule, women like hummus.  It's chromosomal.  If you bring your homemade batch of hummus to the next weekend get-together, and then just be all casual and confident about it, like "Yeah, I brought hummus, what?  I'm tired of Helluva Good French Onion dip anyway, aren't you?", they will a) eat it all and b) talk good about you when you're not in the room.

Next up - how to actually make the stuff.